Dear Thando

Yah mntu 

I would like to introduce you to Coach Thando. Your eventful life gifted her with a life purpose. I am in pain to decide which of your many lessons I should share to highlight how far you have come. 

Remember the volcanic tremors that your teenage pregnancy sent in your small close-knit community. You can still see the shame, disappointment, pain, and fear, in mom and dad’s eyes. Rightfully so, you had brought down their moral standing in society. I am sure they were already thinking about the future and how unforgiving society is to women’s “misdemeanors “.  Girls like you did not even belong in the church; the lines were strictly drawn between the unmarried girls/women with no children and mothers (married women).  You learnt to be comfortable in the discomfort of living outside the neat constructs of societal structure. This experience taught you to belong to yourself first. Being in the cold built your courage, mental strength, and critical analysis. You learnt to dare life.  Seven (7) years later the narrative had changed, no one was prouder than your parents and your community.  You had completed your master’s degree. Nana you are strong, with gaping wounds you still came out of a situation that could have arrested your future.   You soon realized that whenever something appears to be happening to you, it is equally happening for you!  

With all its benefits, this adversity was a major trauma. The unattended wound started festering into other aspects of your life. It sometimes manifested in anger, that missile you shot without thinking twice, impulsive buying, perfectionism a big sign of control. You struggled with belonging.   It took you a long while to go into the belly of your despair. You longed for inner peace, for a different narrative, to travel light, to let go of that which no longer served you.  You needed to meet the girl you were intended to be.  You made major lifestyle changes. You committed to weight loss. You took up walking. You left a turbulent work environment. Mntu, you have been so brave to go against the script and trust the voice of your intuition, theologians say it is the voice of God.

A life-threatening sickness brought urgency to your pursuit to meet the authentic Thando. It drove you to a three-year cathartic spiritual journey. Thank you for birthing Coach Thando. She finally belongs to a God of grace that has given her a place at the head of the table. She is using the twist and turns of your life to serve her purpose. 

You must be super proud! 

I love you mntu, 

Thando